10 Reassuring Truths Every New Parent Needs To Hear
- Nosey Toesie
- Jul 6
- 4 min read
Before we start of, we do want to acknowledge the overwhelm of advice you get pre baby being born and post baby being born. It can become extremely upsetting having varies advice thrown at us that we haven't asked for, and it makes motherhood that much harder. We just want to say we have been there, and it can be really tough.
Parenthood is different for everyone, and quite often it is more than we can ever be ready for. Some things you can only really learn by living them. If we could go back and whisper a few reassuring truths to our pre-baby self or even reminders for our current self, these are the 10 things we'd say:
1. You don’t have to love every minute. You’ll hear “soak it all in” and “it goes so fast.” And it really does but that doesn’t mean you’re failing if you find parts of it hard. Some moments are super magical. Others are just a plain mess. Both however are normal.
2. You’ll miss your old life… and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you love your baby any less. It just means you’re human. You’re allowed to grieve your freedom, your spontaneity, your sleep. You’ll find your new rhythm - but the adjustment is real.
3. Bonding can be instant - or slow. Both are beautiful. You might feel a rush of love the second you meet your baby, or it might grow over time. Don’t compare your bond to someone else’s. It’s all love, in its own way. We all love differently and we all learn to love differently.
4. You are the expert on your baby. Yes, advice will come at you from every direction. But at the end of the day no one knows your baby like you do. Listen, learn, and then trust your gut. It’s wiser than you think.
5. You will need support - more than you thought. You’re not meant to do this alone. Whether it’s your partner, a friend, a family member or a community of other tired parents, lean on them. Ask for help, this is not in our nature but if it helps you cope with those times when we are in the motherhood trenches, swallow your pride and please ask for help. Also accept help when it’s offered, also easier said than done but it really does take a village.
6. The newborn stage is a blur. Don’t feel bad for not remembering it. Everyone talks about the first smile, the tiny toes, the warm snuggles - but no one mentions the fog. If all you remember is surviving, that’s still a beautiful beginning.
7. Your baby doesn’t need perfect. Just present. They don’t care if the laundry is folded or the bathroom has been cleaned. They need your face, your arms, your voice. You’re already enough, your presence is the only love they need.
8. Milestones are a guideline, not a scoreboard. Your baby will crawl, walk, talk, sleep through the night - all in their own time. There is no gold medal for “the earliest walker.” Please don’t try to compare, your little one is learning so much all at once, they need time to process this learning and will practice when they are ready . Do you know an adult that is still crawling? Every baby learns at their own pace.
9. You will change. And that’s not a loss - it’s a beautiful becoming. Motherhood will stretch you, challenge you, and reshape you. You may not recognize yourself for a while. But trust us, although we are not experts just regular mums, we do know you’re not losing who you were, you’re growing into someone more powerful.
10. One day, you’ll look back and miss this. Even the hard parts. You may not miss every second, but enough of them. The tiny hands reaching for your face. The quiet feeds in the dark when everything in the household is quiet. The way they fit in your arms like they were always meant to be there, and their warm body sleeping on your chest .
So if you’re in the thick of it, unshowered, crying with exhaustion and worry you aren't capable of being a parent- you’re not alone. You're doing better than you think, and somewhere out there, another mama is reading this, saying “me too, I am finding this incredibly hard.”.
Parenting is hard, trying to be the best parent is hard, showing up daily for your children is hard, however You’ve got this, and tomorrow is always another day.
With love,
From the two mamas behind Nosey Toesie.
Support Available
There is support out there for all new parents, never feel ashamed to ask for help.
Your family and midwife is always a great place to start.
PlunketLine is also available 24/7 for any parenting or support needs 0800 933 922. Plunket have a great online resource available regarding Parenting Mental Health https://www.plunket.org.nz/being-a-parent/looking-after-you/parent-mental-health/
List of Support and Services for Parents in Aotearoa
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